Essay #1 Revised

After reading my colleagues' work and sharing ideas, I realized I could improve my first essay by organizing my essay's points into paragraphs. Some of the comments on my previous essays helped guide me as well, and I realized that I should clarify whether or not I agree with E.M. Forster. I've made a few adjustments and I'm proud of the result.  Hope you enjoy reading it!

*drum roll*

     Hugs. Cuddles. Personal Relations. All of that's important for many reasons, one of them being that they're something we all share with each other. E..M. Forster, an English novelist, believes that personal relations are more important than patriotism and said this: "If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country." Personal relations are arguably one of the most essential things we as a species have with each other or have in common, and I agree with E.M. Forster; personal relations are more important than patriotism.
     Before I continue, I think it's important to define patriotism. According to the old trusty internet, patriotism is an emotional attachment to one's country or homeland. While I don't think there is anything wrong with patriotism, it surely isn't more important than personal relations. First, I personally believe that people's patriotism nowadays is based on little knowledge of the country. For example, people who claim to feel a sense of patriotism towards Mexico may know little about it and still believe Cinco de Mayo is the day of Mexican independence. Yeah... no. One is so quick to say, "Yeah, I have national pride! Woohoo!", but it's not that easy to say something similar when it comes to personal relations. Patriotism is something everyone can claim to have and it doesn't take much thought or effort to make that claim. Personal relations, on the other hand, are formed over a long period of time which makes them even more meaningful and important.
     One thing patriotism and personal relations have in common is that both unify people; patriotism just unifies people on a way larger scale, while personal relations (depending on how much of a social butterfly one is) typically unify only a select group of people. Patriotism is like the Articles of Confederation, only loosely unifying the nation and even then, not everyone feels the same way about it (that wee bit of knowledge is something many 'patriotic' people do not know). With a personal relationship, people CONNECT with each other and bond over something more than just their homeland.
     Another reason why personal relations are important is because you see these relationships literally every day and everywhere. You see the effects personal relations have on the society as a whole; there are a whole lotta hugs everywhere! Patriotism is more of a casual thing, something people only show on certain national holidays (in America's case, Veteran's Day, Fourth of July, etc.). Therefore, personal relationships, because of the time and effort required to make them, can unify people for a very long time while patriotism loosely unifies people on select days of the year.
     One important thing that sets personal relations apart from patriotism is this: the reason as to why one feels the way he/she does. Find a group of patriotic people and ask them why they feel the way they do and more often than not, the answer will be a vague 'It's my homeland!' On the other hand, if you ask a group of friends why they feel the way they do about each other, you are bound to hear stories and jokes, and you are bound to see faces light up. Personal relationships are simply a deeper kind of relation; patriotism, regardless of how many people feel that way towards our nation, will more often than not be nothing more than just strangers brought together by the fact that they happened to be born in the same country.


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